The day I was diagnosed, Feb 17th, will always be with me. It will go along side the day I had my trach on the list of days that I will never forget. The other day that I'll never forget came 7 days later when the test results from the City of Hope came back all negative for lymphoma. I was so relieved I almost passed out again, but thankfully I didn't. My mom was with me this time and she shed tears of joy instead of tears of joy and relief instead of ones filled of fear and sadness. My final blood tests and chest x-rays taken yesterday, also show no signs of lymphoma.

What I'll never forget is the outpouring of love from those who I shared my news with. I really struggled to come to grips with what could have been my fate, so as I came to tell people, I found that waiting until I had a diagnosis was really they way to go. However, the friends that I did get around to telling were all extremely supportive and caring, offering me anything I could possibly need in preparation for what could be a long battle. They were all positive I could beat this and were going to follow my progress and treatment as if it were their own. And for this, I could never be more grateful.

The outpouring of love and support really helped me realize how many true friends I really have, even though we may not talk on a daily, or even a weekly basis. I have truly been blessed with a loving, supportive family, and friends I couldn't live without.

I could never ask for anything more for my 30th birthday than the gift of life, health, and the unwavering love of my friends and family.

Cheers to that!

I got a great message this morning from one of my friends after she found out what happened:

Rachel: awwww...i'm sending you a big hug

matthew: thanks. i appreciate it.

Rachel: except in my mind, i'm hugging high school matt linder, who was way hotter

sorry

I love it! Totally had me busting up this morning. Thanks for the laugh!

The start of a new battle and a new life.

Today was the first day that I woke up knowing I have cancer. I still haven't gotten used to saying that and in thinking about it, it's quite an unpleasant thought to wake up with. But it was the first thing on my mind when I opened my eyes. A quick moment of panic followed by a deep sigh and a few minutes of reflection.

I tried not to think about the worst, but it does cross your mind, but not for long as I quickly remember that what has happened in the past is not a direct indicator of the future. Without a diagnosis its hard to say what the final outcome will be, so there's really no need to panic. Everyone's experiences are different, and there's no reason for me to believe that I can't beat this, that we can't beat this.

So I get out of bed this morning, thinking, hoping, wishing, and praying that the fates that have fallen my friends Andrew, Pam, and Tom aren't mine.

But by the time it comes to end the day, as I lie here in bed, I know that I am loved. And with that love, I can conquer anything that's thrown at me. And with that all of that behind me, there is nothing to fear.