I got a great message this morning from one of my friends after she found out what happened:

Rachel: awwww...i'm sending you a big hug

matthew: thanks. i appreciate it.

Rachel: except in my mind, i'm hugging high school matt linder, who was way hotter

sorry

I love it! Totally had me busting up this morning. Thanks for the laugh!

The start of a new battle and a new life.

Today was the first day that I woke up knowing I have cancer. I still haven't gotten used to saying that and in thinking about it, it's quite an unpleasant thought to wake up with. But it was the first thing on my mind when I opened my eyes. A quick moment of panic followed by a deep sigh and a few minutes of reflection.

I tried not to think about the worst, but it does cross your mind, but not for long as I quickly remember that what has happened in the past is not a direct indicator of the future. Without a diagnosis its hard to say what the final outcome will be, so there's really no need to panic. Everyone's experiences are different, and there's no reason for me to believe that I can't beat this, that we can't beat this.

So I get out of bed this morning, thinking, hoping, wishing, and praying that the fates that have fallen my friends Andrew, Pam, and Tom aren't mine.

But by the time it comes to end the day, as I lie here in bed, I know that I am loved. And with that love, I can conquer anything that's thrown at me. And with that all of that behind me, there is nothing to fear.